Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
