I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
