trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
