Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
tell me about the fingering
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
