They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Help. Why am I so naked?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
