idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
