How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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