one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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