oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Can Purell be used as lube?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
