dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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