My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
