i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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