a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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