it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
