fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
A+ Viking dick
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
