her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
