I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
