Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Church boner. Awkwardddd
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
