Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
