If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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