I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
