i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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