Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
