SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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