Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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