i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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