He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Actions speak louder than pants.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
