I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
