There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
