Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
