I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
