i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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