I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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