party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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