So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
