Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My vagina is officially offended.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
