I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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