its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
