I must be too annoying 4 u.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
