found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We need a shit load of segways right now
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
