Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
