haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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