so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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