I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
