You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
