Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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