You really coming over, don't trick.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
