Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
