I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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