i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
