ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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