But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
